Every Father’s Day, we celebrate our dads. We recognize all the things they do for us. We recognize the example they set through their work ethic, their character, their strength, their patience, and of course, their love. In short, we celebrate the best qualities that fathers have to offer. But every year, I get more and more concerned that we’re leaving something out. That we’re forgetting to appreciate one of the most treasured aspects of fatherhood.

I’m referring, of course, to Dad Jokes.

Dad Jokes, as you know, fall under the “so bad it’s good” category of humor. But they are a time-honored tradition observed by fathers everywhere. So, in honor of Father’s Day, here are eleven of the silliest, corniest, cheesiest, most eye-rolling, groan-inducing Dad Jokes of all time. You’re welcome.


“What time did the man go to the dentist?” “Sigh. I don’t know, dad. What time?”

 “Tooth hurt-y.”


“Why are skeletons so calm?”

“I give up. Why?”

“Because nothing gets under their skin.”


 “What do you call cheese that’s not yours?”

“Please, dad, I’m really not in the mood for-”

“Nacho cheese.”


“Hey, have you read that new book about anti-gravity?”

“No, is it good?”

“It’s impossible to put down.”


“What do you call someone with no body and no nose?”

“Okay, I’ll bite. What?”

“Nobody knows.”


“What happened when the frog parked his car illegally?”

“Dad, frogs don’t drive.”

It got toad.”


 “What’s brown and sticky?”

“Gross, I don’t even want to know –”

“A stick.”


“Hey, did you hear about that restaurant on the moon?”

“Dad, mom says that if you tell one more joke…”

“Great food, no atmosphere.”


“Why did the scarecrow win an award?”

“Mom, he’s doing it again-”

“Because he was out standing in his field.”


 “Want to hear a joke about paper?”

“Okay, fine. Tell me.”

“Never mind, it’s tear-able.”


 “When does a joke become a dad joke?”

I have a bad feeling about this…”

“When it becomes apparent.”

***

To all dads, my team and I wish you a happy Father’s Day. Thanks for all you do – including telling awful jokes! And to you, I hope these jokes made you laugh. But if they didn’t, don’t blame me. Blame atoms.

After all, they’re the ones that make up everything!